A collection of erotic fiction and poetry by Kilted Wookie, based on a mixture of experience and imagination in varying proportions.
Canary Wharf #ShitViewsOfLondonFromTheTrain https://t.co/p7IwJ73LZo
Millwall stadium. Another #ShitViewOfLondonFromTheTrain https://t.co/YYyDDCdFdE
@_LittleSBitch Can't imagine anyone complaining though
Crystal Palace - Today's #ShitViewsOfLondonFfomTheTrain https://t.co/yCsFn51iiW
Another day, another trip on the Northern Line...
Care to join me? #ArseWednesday #ShowerSelfie #NakedTweet https://t.co/AVR8C3rgar
@NK_Newt @DomSigns @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie Now I'm confused. Surely a biscuit is a biscuit?
@NK_Newt @DomSigns @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie It's nothing like a biscuit
@ABZQuine Oooh er...
@DomSigns @NK_Newt @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie The Teutonic side of my heritage does not tolerate bad… https://t.co/xd3VOM9Eo0
@NK_Newt @DomSigns @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie And we have tattie scones
@NK_Newt @DomSigns @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie Granted, the way they cook it in England is poor, but… https://t.co/Hob6ZN8XLA
@NK_Newt @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie So long as you like bacon, we'll still welcome you...
@NK_Newt @ht_honey @Mollysdailykiss @Kilted_Wookie Awwww
@drinksmcgee And that's American short imperial, not even real imperial...
@Mollysdailykiss @NK_Newt @Kilted_Wookie Can't beat good Stornaway black pudding
@Swirlingfire It would have to be
@jadewhisk Sadly, my flights are booked so I'm stuck there until Thursday
So... Two nights in Croydon. Deal or no deal...?
@SnookerBunny I lost interest when they changed its name to the London Snickers
RT @Liffonmelsmork: What's that, Lassie? Lulu's stuck down the WEH-EHH-EHH-EHH-EHHLLLL?
RT @missprofanity: There's a simple solution to all of this 'what is reasonable force' malarkey. STOP FUCKING BREAKING INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES…
@NK_Newt If it's any consolation, I can't wear them either
So busy, I can't work out if I'm a headless fly or a blue arsed chicken...
@_floss_84 @PixieHeartblog Both are good and, despite being an Android user, I'd say iPhone has a slight edge, but… https://t.co/Y014ooyXP0
Oh look, it's a baby? Is it healthy? Does it have the requisite number of arms, legs and heads? Is the mother OK?… https://t.co/opZQSFjqex
@marshawritesit Well, at least it would definitely be fiction.
@_Masterseye @BibulousOne me and my filthy mind...
@marshawritesit At least you've written something
@_Masterseye @BibulousOne What a point to enter the conversation...
I don't think I can participate in this week's #KoTW because I simply have nothing positive to say on the subject (… https://t.co/8URN5YtBSw
On The Brink #MasturbationMonday https://t.co/BZla7A8ZzX https://t.co/jNyO04Ihry
@MissScarletUK @HannahLockhardt @mandapen Is it sad that I have the them tune to Mr Benn as my ringtone?
@Jedihamster100 That's quite an image 😉
@Jedihamster100 Ah, well, yeah, I guess
@NudeAndPubic Ta muchly. It's gone to seed a little, but I'm mostly fine with it
@ABZQuine Thanks, and likewise
@ABZQuine It'll pass, but thank you
So, today I'm back in longing for oblivion mode again
@confess_Hannah Works for me.
@miss_vivienne I can't really picture you as a victim somehow
@ABZQuine I do mine primarily for me
@ABZQuine Is that a problem?
@ABZQuine Need to rectify that
@ABZQuine You've done outdoor photos before
@ABZQuine Be rude not to
@Winsome_Wench Certainly not
@Winsome_Wench That's one helluva facial you got there
@ABZQuine Outside cleanliness is allowed
@sexblogofsorts Hubba hubba
@MissusBojangles That's not your birthday suit... 😉
@MissScarletUK Yay 😘
@Inner_Devil Well played 😜
@confess_Hannah @TabithaErotica @irnbru It's pure boggin
@NK_Newt No, just tired
@confess_Hannah @TabithaErotica @irnbru Ah, I'm not actually from these parts. I never got the whole brown sauce th… https://t.co/HSApFR6uhw
@NK_Newt No, I'm sure you couldn't
The time my satnav got a bit freaked out... https://t.co/sZLMivjQkm
@NK_Newt Yeah. Well played...
@NK_Newt Throw in a gosling and you've got yourself a deal...
@MissusBojangles I always maintain that the only compensations for being adult are that sex and alcohol are legal..… https://t.co/SeEfdsgFbs
@_Katenip Since when was "muesli" a colour, and even if it were, under what circumstances would it be a shade of grey?
@tjhutchings71 I'm good that you're good...
@_Katenip Most of them certainly aren't named after actual colours
@tjhutchings71 Glutton for punishment, you... 😉
One Year On… https://t.co/InT0xynWUN https://t.co/26UE86sAl5
@openspiritgrl When my cat does that, it's a trap, not an invitation
@SexySecretary69 And still as spankable as fuck...
@confess_Hannah I'm not aiming for one this month. If I break my duck by the end of the year I'll be doing well.
@confess_Hannah 18 days in, and I'm still on a resounding zero. I even counted them twice to make sure... #30DayOrgasmFun
Word for Wednesday - Wistful #SB4MH #30DayOrgasmFun #MindMatters https://t.co/BKQWCa3GMJ https://t.co/U4vNu8qMeh
@100AcreSub Is that an offer? 😉
RT @MoreThanANudist: I want to live in a world where, walking down a city street, I see a beautiful maiden, topless in an open window on th…
@MissusBojangles So, basically the 'nilla me, this me and the old me. Confused? I am and I have to live with all of the mes
@MissusBojangles It's all very convoluted, not particularly interesting and had quite a bit of mental health issues imvolved
@MissusBojangles @s It's a reasonable compromise I guess. Although, being Scottish, I may have to deep fry it... A… https://t.co/qvMYEBayJ5
@MissusBojangles I volunteer as tribute. (I also make a mean tiramisu)
RT @NudeAndPubic: Time to stop dwelling on what could have been, and get to the shop for some bacon
Scarily, that's equivalent of almost 4 days sat on a plane between Edinburgh and London https://t.co/DkyMiEk4QE
The worst thing about working in financial services is the realisation that a central part of retirement planning i… https://t.co/Gpbn9GzMd9
@ABZQuine Yes, I get that
@ABZQuine Exactly. Sometimes the cuddles become 'interactive' but it's mostly about the comfort of physical contact
@ABZQuine This would work for me
@ABZQuine Exactly. Plus side, both still here
@ABZQuine I know. Lot of water under the bridge since then
@ABZQuine We got there in the end
@ABZQuine Even if we started off in different Starbucks
@ABZQuine True. Didn't stop us filling the chat with innuendo though 😉
@QuinteLex Is petrol a valid answer?
@Exposing40 @Miss_Jezebella Well, more just daily necessities
@SexySecretary69 True enough
@SexySecretary69 She's fine mostly, but has her moments
@SexySecretary69 Nah, she's just being feline
@SexySecretary69 That'll just annoy her more
Currently being glared at by a pissed off cat...
#WickedWednesday Round-Up #SoSS https://t.co/9xainy0qlX https://t.co/IplbAGhzXS
RT @WorldBollard: Today is WORLD BOLLARD APPRECIATION DAY. For every retweet this bollard gets, we will plant a new bollard. Peace. Love.…
@5ubmissy OK, so when I say plugging...
@5ubmissy So you should. I seem to have been plugging you shamelessly today
@TitsAndTestTube All sounds great to me
@MissusBojangles Were you Scottish in a previous life?
@MissusBojangles Altogether unmistakably willylike in every aspect
@MissusBojangles It's fairly average I suspect
@MissusBojangles You had me at chocolate...
@MissusBojangles You've pulled...
@TheSplintercat @MintyBaubles Done my bit too
There are times when my dead on the insideness "shines" through a bit more strongly than others...
@MissusBojangles Hmm, yes, I guess it does.
@MissusBojangles That said, she possible doesn't have a naked, middleaged Scotsman following her on Twitter, so it all evens out I guess
@Exposing40 Sometimes, I worry...
@5ubmissy @His_Cub @Mollysdailykiss @HisLittleRara @Hairy_Dom @KaylaLords @CoffeeAndKink @sexblogofsorts Can I be g… https://t.co/IOtjKtrhbn
@MissusBojangles You win
I am trying so hard, and failing, to even contemplate giving a fuck... https://t.co/gFNFNKGVW9
@GallifreyTrenz @BlancoGoGo So it would seem
@confess_Hannah Oh, so only until the end of the week then... 😉
@confess_Hannah Must have missed that while I was down one of my dark holes. Hope you're settling in
@confess_Hannah Been there, done it, still taking the anti-depressants...
@confess_Hannah When did that happen?
@confess_Hannah Oh well, Gretna is an option for you. Where are you now?
@confess_Hannah @CoffeeAndKink @hurricane_ros You can actually only elope to Gretna if you live south of the border… https://t.co/MJguzOag2Y
@mistress34F Boo to censorship. Spoiling everyone's fun
@mistress34F Yeah, what have you done with the "real you" and when can we get her back...? 😂
@mistress34F True, but my own 18 years of regulatory supervision of financial advisory/broker firms has given me a… https://t.co/bHhJ0vHbCc
@mistress34F @Exposing40 The cynic in me *does a snort laugh at the concept of "a good financial advisor"...
@NK_Newt Yes, I'm on HTC
@NK_Newt You meant this 💋 ?
@NK_Newt I have it on mine 😘
And I'm just beginning to realise the enormity of the task yet again... https://t.co/nSau8swYr1
@SilverDomUK He is the winner of today's "Lacks the warmth and depth to be a cunt" award... @MintyBaubles
@LMCDark_Angel @velvet_sub @DarkAngelsHaven It is, although, being Scottish, I tend to use it as punctuation too.
@laurabxo Don't worry, I'm not going to SCAT2 you. What position do you play?
@laurabxo It can last a lot longer than that. I'm afraid your season is over under the HIPs
@Swirlingfire @ht_honey Add their @ name to your muted words list and you should no longer see any reference to the… https://t.co/s0mA4AysYB
Dating v Hooking Up #F4TFriday https://t.co/wrefIoRWPB
@frankallenweb @SexySecretary69 @GallifreyTrenz I do indeed. It is an account for bloggers/tweeters to share stuff.
@Letter_20 I'm sure you'll quickly come to realise the error of your ways...
@Letter_20 That way Madness lies
@thereon_cara I'm tempted to steal this tweet and use it as my SM entry... 😉
@TheSplintercat What's the matter?
@CLWearne I know you're talking about MS, but how do you always manage to make it sound like BDSM? 😉
RT @CarwrightKc: Holy Big guns batgirl. Bullet proof body 🎨 paint. https://t.co/dfPlxc12e4
@mischa_eliot Isn't that the sad and sorry truth...
@SexIsMyNewHobby Damn! You got us...😉
@ht_honey @theotherlivvy Although, I'm so unobservant, I probably wouldn't notice if I had been
@ht_honey @theotherlivvy I use iOS on iPod, the android app on my phone and tweet deck on laptop. As far as I know… https://t.co/wu76rkOIrS
@_Masterseye I know this, but in the moment it doesn't make it seem any less true
And then I feel shit because I get so may lovely, supportive comments and it makes me look like I was indulging in… https://t.co/EMXEdwU34S
@theblackcatsays Well, compared to a lot of people, I have nothing really to complain about. I'm just wallowing in self-pity
I must bore the shit out of everyone. Fuck knows, I bore the shit out of me with my constant bouts of self-loathing and misery
@theblackcatsays It's all relative I'm afraid
It's not as if I ever really have anything particularly original, let alone interesting to say, it's all mostly var… https://t.co/Gtl0fbj303
Why any of you even bother following me is a total mystery. I'm grateful, certainly, but I will never really understand it.
So, after a couple of okish days, I'm back to being in "total waste of oxygen consumption" mode